13: Grieving & Loss as a Mother, Personal Stories with Monica & Carolyn
Grief and Motherhood: A Journey of Loss, Healing, and Connection
In one of their most emotionally vulnerable episodes to date, Monica and Carolyn of the Wand(HER)wild podcast open their hearts to share their personal journeys through grief, loss, and healing as mothers. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, they reflect on the complexities of navigating deep emotions while still showing up for their families—and themselves.
Grief That Finds You While Mothering
Grief has a way of arriving uninvited. For Monica, it began early in 2024 when her daughter faced a life-threatening respiratory illness that landed her in intensive care. It was the kind of terrifying experience no mother prepares for: surrendering control, sitting by her daughter’s side as she lay on life support, and holding onto hope while letting go of the illusion of certainty.
Carolyn, too, was thrust into a chapter of immense sorrow when her father passed away in June. Her grief, though different, was equally profound. Watching someone you love suffer while being unable to change the outcome is an ache that reshapes your sense of self—and your role as a parent.
The Unexpected Loneliness of Loss
Despite their shared experiences, both women described how isolated grief can feel—even when surrounded by family. Monica reflected on being an expat far from her support system, alone in the hospital during the scariest moments of her life. Carolyn spoke about carrying her own silent burden as she attempted to manage her emotions while supporting her children and mother through her father’s undiagnosed illness.
Grief, they agreed, is deeply personal. It doesn’t follow rules or timelines. It meets you in stillness, in tears, in unexpected flashes of joy or waves of anger. For mothers, it often arrives alongside the relentless demands of caregiving, making it nearly impossible to set time aside to process the depth of emotion fully.
Navigating Loss Through a Spiritual Lens
As both women moved through their grief, they found themselves pulled into deeper questions around life, death, and what exists beyond. Monica shared powerful experiences during her grandparents’ funerals, where she felt their spirits' presence and noticed signs—music boxes playing on their own, lights flickering—that offered unexpected comfort. Carolyn, too, began noticing butterflies at poignant moments, and described feeling her father’s energy around her during solo walks.
These moments, while intangible, provided profound grounding. Both Monica and Carolyn spoke of grief as a kind of spiritual awakening—a crack in their previously held beliefs that made space for new ways of thinking about soul, purpose, and presence.
The Physical Practice of Healing
In the early days of grief, the women leaned into the physical body for support. Monica used long salt baths, daily walks, and breathwork to help her process trauma and move stagnant energy. She emphasized how powerful it was to give herself permission to release through sound—crying, grunting, even screaming—to begin to let go of stored pain.
Carolyn echoed these sentiments, describing her solo breathwork sessions and journal entries as life-saving outlets. She also began therapy, which became a safe space to unpack memories and gain perspective. Over time, both women realized that grief wasn’t something to fix, but rather something to live with—and even grow through.
The Ongoing Nature of Grief
Both women agreed: there is no finish line when it comes to healing. Grief is not a linear process. It doesn’t obey calendars or checklists. Monica explained that her grief moved in waves—intense periods of numbness followed by renewed creativity and expansion. Carolyn shared that even months later, certain memories or conversations can still bring her to tears. But they also both acknowledged how grief had reshaped their priorities, values, and sense of gratitude.
Where once accolades, productivity, and perfectionism reigned supreme, both women now prioritize presence, connection, and slowness. “We just want to cherish the people we love,” Monica said. “That’s what matters.”
Grieving as a Mother
Motherhood brings its own complexities to the grieving process. You don’t get to press pause when you're parenting through pain. Carolyn spoke about how hard it was to feel deeply while trying to maintain stability for her children. She navigated tough questions from her son, like “Is Gramps going to be cremated or buried?” with honest, age-appropriate answers. She emphasized that it’s okay for kids to see their parents sad—if anything, it teaches them emotional literacy.
Monica, whose children are younger, took a different approach. While her daughter remembered her hospital stay vividly and talked often about wanting to be a doctor, Monica chose not to share the news of her grandparents’ passing just yet. “We’re trying to find language that meets them where they are,” she explained.
Children, Intuition, and the Sacred Connection
Both Monica and Carolyn noticed that children often seem more connected to the sacred, more open to spiritual ideas. Whether it’s their curiosity about what happens after death or their surprising comfort with the idea of communicating with loved ones who’ve passed on, kids tend to meet grief with a kind of innocence and wisdom that adults sometimes lose.
Carolyn plans to share more with her children in time, and Monica beautifully describes the open-ended spiritual language she uses in her home: “We say they went back to the sky. You can talk to them anytime.”
Choosing Belief and Making Peace
One of the most powerful lessons Carolyn took from therapy was this: “You get to choose what you want to believe.” No one has all the answers. But finding peace means giving yourself permission to explore belief systems that resonate with your heart—even if they don’t align with what you were taught growing up.
For Monica, the belief in soul connection beyond death has brought comfort. She believes her grandparents completed their soul missions and are still with her, just in a different form. Carolyn, still navigating her own beliefs, booked a medium reading in hopes of connecting with her father—and finding closure in a way that speaks to her soul.
Collective Grieving and Collective Holding
One thing that emerged strongly in the conversation is the idea that grief can’t be processed alone. Both women found healing in community—whether through their Wand(HER)wild membership space, WhatsApp chats, or heartfelt conversations like this one.
They stressed that grief becomes more bearable when it is witnessed, when someone simply says, “I see you. You’re not alone.” And that’s one of the gifts of this podcast episode—making space for the full spectrum of human emotion, especially the parts that don’t often make it to social media.
What Comes After Loss
As the episode closed, Monica and Carolyn reflected on how grief can quietly shape your future. It can help you let go of the noise, the expectations, the overachieving—and anchor you in what matters most: love, connection, presence, and purpose.
Their journeys through grief are still unfolding, but one thing is clear—they are moving through it with open hearts, and they are not alone. And if you are reading this and grieving too, neither are you.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this story resonates with you, we invite you to explore more. Visit our free resources, upcoming digital events, in person family retreats, and follow us on Substack or follow us on Instagram for conversations on self-healing and intentional living. Let’s walk this path together.
